Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Friday, 22 January 2010

image for Dame Ellen Macarthur Buys Portsmouth FC

A saviour, in the name of Yachtswomen Dame Ellen MacArthur has finally completed the protracted sale of Portsmouth, where it is claimed that she paid £80m for the cash strapped club.

At the press conference, she shocked fans by stating that she wants to move the Fratton Park based club, to the middle of The English Solent. She has yet to express how exactly this will be done, but architects believe that the plan is to build a Tesco's, and then build the new 30,000 ground on its roof.

After the news, one local who was interviewed, stated "that's a brilliant idea. I have a knackered old rowing boat. All it needs is a new lick of paint, and its good as ready."

"All I need know, is to get a little bit fitter, and I'm sorted. It may well be the case that the boat turns over by the jaunty seas that we have around this part of the world, and I am drowned by an enormous floating condom. If that's the case, then at least I'll go down with a smile on my face."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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