Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for NFL Expansion Plans Have Former President Bush Excited
He wants a football team near his ranch.

Plans announced by the NFL (National Football League) to expand to 40 teams by 2020 have former President George "Dubya" Bush excited. Bush, who used to be part owner and the managing partner of the Texas Rangers baseball team has expressed a desire to return to sports.

"Last week," said Bush, "I got to sit in the Dallas Cowboy owners box during their playoff game against the Philadelphia Eagles. It was really exciting and I enjoyipated myself. My heart was pounding wtih the joyification of the contesticle before me."

"Anyway, now that they are planning to add eight new teamsters, I want to be an owner."

"I figure that we can put a team here in Crawford. We've got the high school stadium that we can use until I can get the city fathers to build us something bigger."

"I think that I can go down to the Home Depot and buy me one of them portable Tuff Sheds. We can stick it on top of the Press Box and that can be my owner's box. We could put some of those lawnchairs in it that have the cupholdes in the armrests and do it all up real fancy."

"My team could be called the Crawfod Al Queda Killers, and we could rub Iran's nose in it by getting 72 virgins to be our cheerleaders. I don't know where you'd ever find 72 virgin cheerleaders out there, but it's an idear."

Bush also felt that his Secret Service Agents might enjoy having the team in Crawford. "They been real tired of me dragging 'em down to the picture show to watchificate the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie every day for the past two weeks. This could give 'em some different activities to do and such."

"We could also do our training camp out on the ranch. I'm sure that Laura wouldn't mind fixing breakfast for the players and they could roll out sleeping bags on the back porch."

There was no word from the NFL on this business plan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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