Written by Danny Burger
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Saturday, 9 January 2010

image for January transfer news

Manchester city have put in a world record bid of £200 million for the football club "Bayern Munich".

City boss, Roberto Mancini, is said to be keen to work with several players from the club and because he feels he wants "most" of the Bayern players, City may as well buy them outright. This will also assure Mancini of a contract extension, as once Bayern is purchased, his trophy haul will immediately jump up too 46. Far beyond expectations stipulated in his contract.

Rafael Benitez has turned down an £8 million bid for Ryan Babel by Birmingham, citing the player's ability to play as a winger/striker/rapper put's his market value "somewhere in the region of a Kaka/Ronaldo price tag", to qoute Benitez. He went on.

"Ryan Babel's rapping has been fantastic, he's going to be a very important asset for this club, he can raise us millions. Seriously, have my i-pod,listen, you will see".

Alex Ferguson has come out saying that united will buy,but not at an inflated price. The scot saying he doesn't see much value in the market.

"With all these mega rich billionaires entering football club ownership, agents are raising prices, it's not right." Says the man who paid 30million for striking bargain Dimitar Berbatov.

In other transfer news, Portsmouth have started televising their own 24 hour shopping network offering their various players ,non-stop, for the whole of January.

English literacy champion, Avram Grant is hosting the majority of the production.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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