Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 9 January 2010

image for Ray Guy Sues NFL For Position Discrimination
Ray could kick these farther, higher, and more accurately than anyone

Ray Guy was the punter for the Oakland Raiders in the 70's and 80's. He holds several NFL records and is generally considered the greatest punter of all time (he was selected in the position to the NFL 75th Anniversary team and all time team of the 20th Centry). He is the only punter ever selected in the first round of the NFL draft. Ray Guy, however, is not in the NFL Hall of Fame.

In fact, no punter is in the NFL Hall of Fame.

This year, Guy was a first round casualty on the Hall of Fame Selection List and did not make the final ballot.

Due to this, Guy has brought a lawsuit against the NFL for discrimination by position. From his home, Guy said "This is almost a hate crime. They are discriminating against me. If I was black, I'd have Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton knocking on my door and going on television and screaming."

"I'm a white guy, so the only people who seem to notice my problems are a couple of old, fat tailgaters from the Raider Nation."

Lawyers have advised Guy to declare himself Gay to bring more sympathy to his plight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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