After Man City's shock signing of veteran Patrick Viera their rivals, Man Utd have decided to revitalise Roy "Keano" Keane to combat the "loud mouthed" Frenchman.
It was always war when Viera/Arsenal met Keano/Man Utd on the field and many sponsors sick of "Poncy" modern day footy are willing to invest millions seeing the old rivals battle it out "bite yer legs yer bastard" once more.
Keano is getting fit via SAS military combat training and Viera is brushing up his fitness and verbal by downing a bottle of best Chardonnay daily.
Vieara gave the following comment to the Manchester Evening News: "I am going to stuff United, kick the shit out of their new poofy stars and show what real fucking footy is about!"
Keano, in the middle of an SAS trainig stint was also interviewed: "fucking frog twat, once I've finished this training I'll kick the bastard into touch, break his frogs legs and ave em for dinner." in his best Irish brogue!
Sir Alex Ferguson can't wait for Keano to return and was even comtemplating asking Eric "Mon Dieu" Cantona to put his boots on again and Kung Fu kick the big-mouthed twat into exile on Corsica.
Utd and City fans can't wait and tickets for Man U v Man C are flying over the counter like mushy peas, soggy chips and pork pies!!!