Tiger Woods, who is getting into deeper dodo every other day it seems, has offered to quit farting and stay on the shitwagon if Elin will come back and bring the children.
"I'll give up the women and I'll quit farting around", promised Tiger.
After allowing one blast to get out over the air on TV last summer, Tiger almost quit the beans back then, but he knew that it would hurt his golf game.
"That's the biggest thing with our split up", Woods recently told a fellow golfer while at practice. "She knew I had problems with the women but it was the constant farting that finally drove her to pick up that golf club on Thanksgiving weekend."
Little known outside of his Dad and his caddy, Tiger had always eaten beans the night before a tournament and every night till the final game on Sunday.
"So he has let that one slip,", stated his caddy. "Fact is, that farting was the way Tiger stayed loose on the golf course. If things were getting hectic on the course -say like when he lost the ball on the number one hole in the British Open a few years back -he'd come back to the tee farting and then begin laughing."
Now that the secret is out, look for less sound equipment near the golfers and for the announcers to keep a little further back in the upcoming 2010 tournaments.