The Indianapolis Colts have decided to rest all of their starting players in the playoffs until the team reaches the Super Bowl.
A spokesman said that "people like Peyton Manning are just too important to risk in playoff games or conference championships. You've really got to hold your cards close and save your best hand for when it counts, like when you try to win all of the marbles in the really big game."
The team was reminded by reporters that they lost the last two games where many starters were rested (after starting their season 14-0, they finished 0-2). Journalists also reminded the team that the playoffs are "one and done" and that they would not get a second chance if they lost.
"We believe in the quality of our backups to win a game. Yes, they couldn't beat the Buffalo Bills in the last game of the season (even though everyone else in the league managed to beat the Bills this year). However, we have confidence that they will show their star quality in the big games and on the national stage."
Persons from Indianapolis with hotel reservations for a trip to the Super Bowl should plan on cancelling.