The Philadelphia Eagles will travel to Dallas to play against the Cowboys in the first round of the NFL playoffs. In a surprise move, the Eagles signed a new person to their team this morning. It was not, however, a player or a coach. The Eagles have hired Jessica Simpson to accompany them to Dallas.
Simpson is the former girlfriend of Dallas Cowboy Quarterback Tony Romo. With her in the stands to cheer on her boyfriend, the Cowboys have lost every game. In fact, her appearances also happen to be the three worst games of Romo's career.
Simpson was happy to comply with the Eagle's hiring, since Tony dumped her on her birthday. "I said that I'd do this for them if they bought my ticket, paid for my concessions, and got me one of them foam fingers. I didn't even take no money for it."
Jessica did have to be coerced, however, into wearing her famous pink Tony Romo jersey, as "I don't never wear nothing out in public twice."