Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Topics: Washington

Saturday, 2 January 2010

image for Four Vols Arrested for Illegal Gun Possession; Immediately Drafted by Washington Wizards
Wise Guys Say " It Gets Higher Everytime I Hit My Bong Again

Four Tennessee Volunteer basketball team players were arrested and charged with various gun and drug possession charges in Knoxville. The players, otherwise known as the Tennessee Wise Guys, were on there way to the campus to "score some season highs" and "cap a ball off or two" according to the most lucid of the four upon arrest.

The Wise Guys, in an attempt to not have the pistolas traced back to themselves after a shooting, filed off the serial numbers stamped into the receivers of the guns. Unfortunately they got pulled over with the guns, and the serial number removal is yet another crime to go along with the other charges.

Washington Mental Wizzards Coach Ed "Headshot" Tapscott immediately came to the wise guys rescue by announcing that "these boys fit our team philosophy perfectly, in fact we already have gun toting and gang bangin' players in our locker room right now".

The University of Tennessee said the players were excelling in their studies. Each had received an "A" in Beginning Billiards 101 and Intermediate Bowling (202) as well as Intramural Basketball (011) according to the University Registrar.

Reporting from the Land of "highs" in Higher Education,

Dagnabbit Rabitt

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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