Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

image for Dallas Cheerleader Admits To Having Sex With Boyfriend
Farking hell!

Controversy again surrounded the NFC East champions today when news broke of a new scandal concerning one of its cheerleaders, Lucy Fark, who has admitted having 'sexual relations' with her boyfriend.

Fark, 15, has admitted to friends that she enjoyed 'pleasure beyond belief' with Tommy Grope, also 15, in her home at Fort Worth, and now faces expulsion from the cheerleading troupe.

The pair, who both attend Rampant Cock High School, have both been suspended until the authorities there have viewed the video.

Details of the depraved sexual activities enjoyed are so disgusting that they cannot be reproduced here, but Fark bragged to Monique, her best friend:

"I banged him, like, 40 or 50 times. First, I always gave him some really good head, and he blew his tanks all over my face. Then he ate me out. We often used whipped cream."

Asked about whether she hoped to have sex with any of the players themselves in the future, Fark laughed:

"Why wait until the future?" then added "I dunno. I guess it's better than doing homework."

Sex with minors is not illegal in Texas unless you get caught.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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