Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 23 December 2009

image for Mayweather Drops Fight with Pacquiao
Pacquaio in training

Following failed attempts to place drug testing measures and additional training restrictions on Manny Pacquiao in advance of the highly touted "Fight of the Decade", Floyd Mayweather's management team has announced their preference to drop the fight date in favor of one later this summer.

The list of fight demands is growing, but none are necessarily connected to requests for an increase in revenue. Interestingly enough, Mayweather is looking to add what some critics are calling, "Stall Requirements" to the fight contract, making it more difficult for Pacquiao's management to deliver to those demands.

Mayweather's new conditions for the fight include a custom build 4000 square foot dressing room, with leather furniture, home theater and fully stocked bar, as well as a list of stranger demands including:

  • Game worn, signed Johnny Unitas football jersey
  • 5 gallons of Anise flavored cottage cheese
  • Minnetonka deer skin slippers embroidered with "Floyd" on each
  • 50 cans of Pringles Potato Chips, produced in the shape of Mayweather's face
  • Naked pictures of Margaret Thatcher on a cold day
  • 1000 cans of SPAM, but made from beef instead of pork
  • Proof of Osama Bin Laden's capture
  • A evening alone with Posh Spice
  • An unopened complete box of 1968 Topps baseball cards (stale gum included)
  • A Unicorn named Dave

"The man is insane, or just looking to avoid my fighter", says Pacquiao cut man Delbert Smalls. "Last month he forced us to ask Burger Queen to market a new hamburger called the Mayweather, which they did for a considerable fee. If you ask me it still tastes like chicken".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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