Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Venus Williams slams 'badassed horny muthaputta' Tiger
Is Venus right? Behind the badass macho stuff Tiger's just a bedwetter since the age of seven?

Palm Beach, Fla - (Hawkeye): "Ju-ju hex on Tiger's manhood?" top US women's tennis pro Venus Williams raged today.

"Ya kiddin?

"Like his dork's got some kinda life all its own when Elin ain't lookin?

"Gimme a break, the guy's a walking erection!"

But the 19-times Grand Slam champ's longtime boyfriend, pro golfer Hank Kuehne, reckons Tiger's hormones are to blame.

"Yeah, ever since last year's knee-op all that Ambien and Vicodin's been churning up his scrotal sac," Kuehne sympathised.

"The man needs strappin down. Same as that best pal of his Roger Federer, always up to no good - just like Tiger. Only a helluva lot smarter about the shagging."

Williams once dated Tiger Woods but the experience was a disaster.

"Tiger's kinda kinky and emotional," Venus recalled, "mostly cause he's just a bedwetter since seven years old.

"Had to wear him out a bit before dumping him on Joanna Jagoda. Lord knows how she coped with all that macho stuff and then he has to wear a diaper during night times..."

Holly Sampson is 34.

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