Written by Nick Hobbs
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for England Football Squad May Take Viagra.
Little blue pill? Don't mind if I do.

Managers have vehemently denied prescribing viagra for the England world cup squad ahead of South Africa 2010.

The news was leaked from HQ. The lads will be training 5000ft above sea level at Rustenburg, and officials are worried the thinner air will impact on their performance.

We are waiting to discover if, by 'performance', they are referring to bedroom or pitch antics.

Medical professionals are researching to see if viagra can increase lung capacity.

Spokesman, Ivor Boner, said "we feel the squad are going to prove stiff competition for any team we come up against."

"Our group is not exactly hard. We need to be firm in our statement, the use of viagra to improve lung capacity in South Africa is balls."

There are fears that John Terry and Ashley Cole will be unable to play if they have taken the drug. Viagra is known to stiffen the penis, and because they are a couple of dicks, they may be incapacitated.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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