Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for U.S. and England in Same World Cup Draw; Americans Don't Give A Rat's Ass
Americans don't care much for this type of roundball.

The United States and England are in the same draw in the World Cup. They will play their first game against each other during the summer. Americans, however, seem not to be very excited about the event.

"Soccer? Who cares?" These were the sentiments of Jason Friendstone of Duke City, Colorado. "Did you see the ending to the Texas/Nebraska game last night?"

"I don't give a rat's ass about some soccer boys playing kickball over on the other side of the world. What I do care about is that my team got screwed again by the BCS!" said Amy Taylor of Pine Bluff, Arkansas.

"Is any of the women going to rip off their shirts and show us their bras again? I'll watch if there's some hotties with see through sports bras," said Jason Puttanski of Dover, Delaware.

"Is this World Cup thingie going to interfere with March Madness? If they take off any really important bracket buster type games to put on those second tier athletes, I'm gonna be pissed. If these guys were any good, they'd be playing real sports, like football, basketball, baseball, or hockey," said Mark Douglas of El Paso, Texas.

Feelings across the United States seemed to be nearly unanimous among the people. Rats, however, were pleased that no one was giving away their asses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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