Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Female Basketball Players Question New Guidlines That All Participants In Team Sports Must Wear Athletic Supporters
Are these ladies wearing their jockstraps? Wanna check and see?

Women's team sports players in basketball, volleyball, soccer, softball, and field hockey are upset about new NCAA guidelines that say that all participants in all team sports must wear athletic supporters (a.k.a. jockstraps). The guideline, known as Title 36C, was never listed as sex specific in the language or writing and has angered many female athletes.

"Why do I have to wear a jock? What's it going to protect?" These were the questions from University of Alabama basketball power forward Shamiqua Johnson. "Is this thing supposed to keep me from racking my balls or something?"

University of Colorado volleyball player Misty Simms asked "am I supposed to wear my thong underneath or over the top of my jock strap? Do they come in any colors other than beige? I don't think that I have any bras that go with an athletic supporter."

Denise Ryan of the Boston College Field Hockey team felt that "those straps on the outside of the ass push my butt inwards. I don't like the way it makes my ass wiggle in a weird way when I run down the field. It's not what I want the guys in the stands to see."

Ohio State softball shortstop Kalli Clark said "how are they going to know whether or not we are really wearing these things? Is someone going to come and feel us up before the game or will we have a referee coming into the locker room to look at our crotches before or after the game?"

UCLA beach volleyball player Sheila Jones wanted to know if she was supposed to wear one with her bikini. She also asked "Does this mean that the men on the football team have to start wearing sports bras?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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