In an effort to spice up next year's football World Cup in South Africa, FIFA have decided to introduce a real "group of death".
Traditionally whichever group of teams contains the most difficult sides is labelled a "group of death" on account of how hard it is to qualify from the group.
But now FIFA have decided that one of the eight groups will be completely liquidated. The group of death will be chosen randomly on the eve of the beginning of the tournament, and the execution of their teams' players will form part of the opening ceremony. It is intended as a tasteful statement on the dangers of hosting a huge sporting tournament in one of the most violent countries on earth.
So by next summer, instead of looking forward to another glorious failure by England's football team, we may be cheered by the sight of Beckham's still twitching corpse being set upon by wild dogs.