Written by Richard DagNabbit
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Friday, 4 December 2009

image for Elin Woods wins with Amanda Knox over Kimbo Slice in WWF Matchup
Kimbo Slice

Corroborated smackdown is now coming in confirming Kimbo Slice has made the move to WWF wrestling and has lost in his first match up involving Tiger Woods' wife.

The WWE Entertainment group apparently felt setting Kimbo up for an easy victory against women in his first match would increase his marketability after several dismal appearances in UFC competition.

Unfortunately, Kimbo ran into a new tag team pair comprised of Elin Woods and Amanda Knox, a diva duo of deadly combinations if there ever was. With two seconds gone in the first, Elin wheeled and dealt ol' Kimbo a Nike one iron to the noggin Tiger style while Knox gave Kimbo a home boy treatment and sliced off a piece of the family history. Kimbo went down whimpering and never recovered. Elin Woods is currently sponsored by Crown Royale and took home Kimbo's slice while Knox, sponsored by the Pentagon, has been invited to a big dollar match up against the salt & pepper team of Hillary "Nuke 'Em Clinton and Condaleeza "Take a Hike" Rice.

Tiger, appearing with an open fly and several bandages on his face, was in the audience supporting his wife's efforts to become the new bread winner since being TKO'd in a home bout. Tiger at one point had to be manacled to his seat due to repeated attempts to snorkel several WWF Blond Diva Babes surrounding the ring.

While Tiger's dissed and pissed wife tries to work her way up the political ladder, Tiger's agents have stated he intends to rejoin his comrades on tour at the Tournament of Crumballs to be held at the Sanford Golf & Strip Club in North Carolina. Outside of this appearance it looks like surfacing at PGA events where Jesper Parnivik plays is not on Tiger's plan book. His only other scheduled appearance is at the Upskirt Bigeye & Bust'em Championship in Brazil.

Until Next Week - that's it, so stay tuned for updates

DagNabbit Rabbit

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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