Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Fat, clothing

Friday, 4 December 2009

Washington, DC resident Milt Candless was shocked when he recently saw what looked to be a "overweight, out of shape guy" smoking a cigarette and wearing a jersey "in the style of those worn by the Washington Redskins."

"In the first place," explained Candless, "I wasn't even aware that you could wear such a jersey without being a member of that team or at least some type of professional athlete." He then explained that even if the jersey could be worn by a fan of the team, he thought there was some type of "physical screening process" you had to go through to wear garments usually worn by highly trained athletes.

"It looks strange" said Candless. "When I see a jersey, I think of a professional athlete in top physical condition, not some chain smoking lard bucket who looks like he'd die if he got up from the couch too fast."

Candless said he thought that "the Washington Redskins would be very interested to hear about this guy" and planned to contact them "in the next few days." Candless then wondered if he should speak directly to the team's owner or first talk to the head coach.

He then mused "I wonder if there's some kind of reward involved for this?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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