Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for Running Back Sues To Have Stats Combined
33 touchdowns in two different uniforms in one season on two coasts.

A college football running back Ryan is in both 3rd and 4th place on this year's statistics for rushing yards by a running back. The football player has sued to have his statistics combined and make him the number one rusher in the nation.

"No one else this year rushed for over 2000 yards, and I've got over 3000 without even playing in a bowl game," said Williams.

Ryan Matthew Williams has 1538 yards for Virginia Tech. He also has 1491 yards rushing for Fresno under the name Ryan William Matthews. "I switch around my middle name just to remember which team I'm playing for."

When asked about the difficulties, he said "Sure it's hard playing for two different schools on two different coasts at the same time. Travel arrangements can be a real bear and I end up doing most of my classwork and homework on airplanes and in airports."

Williams is hoping that the NCAA bowl selection groups make his job easier and have his schools play against each other in a bowl game. "This way, I could just hang out in one city with all of my friends and just switch jerseys on the sidelines when the defenses were on the field. It would sure make my holiday plans a lot easier."

Since Ryan is enrolled as a junior at one school and a freshman at another, he faces problems when he finishes his career at one school. "I don't know whether one of me should come out early or if I should finish my education and play college and pro ball at the same time. Maybe I should get drafted by two NFL teams and just play for the better one or the one that offers more money."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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