Written by Bureau
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Topics: Farting, Tiger Woods

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for Tiger Woods Farts End Closed Community Lockdown!
Officer Nicklaus

The smell of gas was in the air so thick yesterday that the Isleworth Police had to abandon their previous days lockdown on going door to door seeking evidence on who was attacking people in the community with a golf club. An odor was issued that every person in the gated community leave as quickly as possible as apparently there was a huge gas leak in the area.

"My cigarette lighter sent up a flame two foot high, singed my eyebrows and curled the bill of my cap", stated Officer Perry. "The air was thick with gas. I knew it could explode at any time."

That was when several officers and citizens noticed a ball of fire floating across the treetops and sent everyone scrambling.

"Everyone is safe now, although Tiger Woods was injured when he ran his car into that same tree and fire hydrant, but this time he has plenty of witnesses", stated Officer Palmer. "Indeed, there was a ball of fire in the air not too far behind the vehicle."

It was only when Tiger granted a short interview at his family's hotel room that an Officer Nicklaus noticed that the same gas smell was in the air and put pooh and pooh together.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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