For the past seven years, Joe Paterno (head coach at Penn State) and Bobby Bowden (head coach at Florida State) have gone back and forth as the all time winningest Division One College Football Coach. Paterno currently leads Bowden by a few games.
Both coaches have won numerous bowl games, conference championships, and national championships in their tenure at their respective universities.
Bowden's announcement of his retirement after the Seminole's upcoming bowl game sent nurses at the Penn State Senior Citizen's Center scrambling to find a new adult diaper and clean pair of pants for Coach Paterno.
"Bobby's going to retire! This means that he can't pass me and I stay number one," screamed the 102 year old Paterno.
Behind closed doors, Penn State officials are discussing whether or not to keep "Joe Pa" on life support and continue wheeling him out weekly for games, or to hire a coach a third his age with less costly medical bills and no flatulence problems.