Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 1 December 2009

image for Manchester United FC's Old Trafford Stadium To be Shut Down Following Allegations Of Racist Chanting
A Typical Alice Pictured Yesterday. Who The F**k Is Alice?

Sensational news just in from the UK Premier League - leading UK outfit Manchester United are to have their stadium shut down following allegations that Manchester United fans indulged in racist chanting in their League Cup Quarter Final Tie against Tottenham Hotspur.

"It's too bloody ridiculous for words is this," a fuming Sir Alex Ferguson told us. "There'll be repercussions on this one. Ye can coont on that. I'm bliddy furious me the noo. Get oot ma fruckin' way ye wasters.!"

The furore was sparked by Manchester United fans singing to the tune of the Band Aid classic 'Feed The World':

"Feed The Scousers!

"Let Them Know It's Christmas Time!

"FEED THE SCOUSERS!"

"Dat's just out of order dat is," Minister for Scousedom Mickey MacWhack told us from his Albert Dock apartment. "Dee weren't even playin' us soft lad. Dee wuz playin' Spares. Worra dee wanna go slaggin' off Scousers for? We done nottin'. We weren't even dare. Fuckkkkkin Manc twats. I'll tell yer diss lar, we gerrold Trafford closed down, den der bloody Pool might win sump'n. An I'll tell yer diss for nottin - dat Michael Bloody Owen ever walks down my street, I'll kick his arse good n bloody proper. In fact I'll buuuurst the wheedlin' little shite."

Sir Alex Ferguson got back to us via his cell phone and told us:

"If they think they're gonnae shut Old Trafford down, they're talking oot their aerses.

"GARY NEVILLE IS A RED, IS A RED IS A RED!

"GARY NEVILLE IS A RED - HE HATES SCOUSERS!"

United beat Tottenham 2-0

AND THE REDS GO MARCHING ON! ON! ON!

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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