Tunbridge Well's, Kent, UK, veteran Bowls team (average age 88) have accused their local rivals from Edenbridge (average age 98) of cheating, corruption, illegality, taking bribes and using the "Foot of God" to beat them!
This happened shortly after it was revealed that Thierry Henry had hanballed instead of footballed the ball against the Irish.
Captain of the Edenbridge Vet's team, Ernie Eunuch (99 years old and still bowling them over!") watched the French and thought this would be a great idea to beat their greatest rival.
Whilst no one is watching he'll swiftly kick the rivals bowls further away from their target knowing they're old "Fogies" anyway and nobody will see anything.
Sadly it all went "Frogshape," just as Ernie was about to kick the bowl away, he slipped on the green, a frog had pooped under his shoes, someone saw what he was attempting to do and the following altercations were "tres bloody!"
The BBVB (British Bowling Veterans Association) called for CCTV evidence and Ernie was given a life-time ban lasting 2 days, he died!
As for the result of the game an independent arbitrator was appointed called Michael Plateinnie of French descent, he studied the CCTV evidence and awarded the game to Ernie's team, refuting all claims of corruption, TYPICAL FRENCH, Ces't La Vie!!