Written by matwil
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Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Minute's silence held at Anfield today for the death of Sarah MacNamara's budgie
R.I.P. Scally. You'll never fly alone.

As no football matches are now played in Britain without a minute's silence being held before them, for the death of somebody or other who had no connection with the matches or clubs involved in those matches, today a silence in memory of the tragic death of Sarah MacNamara's budgerigar Scally was held before the Liverpool Everton match at Anfield.

Miss MacNamara herself, aged 7, was too upset to speak to the press, but her Auntie Sally said: 'Array, it was, like, tragic. One minute Scally was flying round the living room singing 'Ferry Across The Mersey', the next one the cat had snaffled him up for a midday snack.'

'It was like seeing a starving tiger getting tucked into an Indian peasant, all over in a flash. Words cannot describe how heartbroken our family of 312 dole claimants are at the news, but we'll have shot at a talking endlessly about it anyway.'

A Justice for Scally campaign has been launched - to raise awareness about the risks of letting your budgie out of its cage when your cat's about - and campaign chief Barry Terry said: 'We will not rest until the MacNamara cat has been blamed for the disaster. How can the government get away with letting poor wee birds being savaged by ginormous cats that chase pit bull terriers down the street for fun?'

After the minute's silence, Liverpool legends Gerry and the Peacebreakers appeared to sing their most famous song to the crowd:

'When you fly through a storm
Hold your beak up high
And don't be afraid of the cat

At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet angry squeak of a bat

Fly on through the wind
Fly on through the rain
Though your seeds are tossed and thrown

Fly on
Fly on
With bells near your heart

And you'll never fly alone
You'll never fly alone

Fly on
Fly on
With seed from WalMart

And you'll never fly alone
You'll never fly alone'.

A shrine for the poor budgerigar has been set up at the MacNamara house in Garry Alley, and Elton John is widely expected to bring out a song about the tragic demise of Liverpool's most famous Liver bird.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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