Written by Rebut
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Topics: Michael Moore, gold

Sunday, 15 August 2004

image for Michael Phelps Striking Gold

Teenage swimming sensation Michael Phelps has admitted that he owes Michael Moore his first Olympic Gold medal at the very least. He remembers as a 10 year old member of the North Baltimore Aquatic Club, how Moore would dive into the pool which emptied out the entire contents. Staff could then refill it and Phelps could train alone.

Phelps who was struck Gold in the 400 metre individual medley, breaking his own world record to achieve it, confirmed that Moore's beached Whale look at the beach also helped as thousands tried to force the "poor creature" back into the sea. While they were busy it freed up a whole lot of sea for training.

In line with the smash hit Seabiscuit, Holywood producers are going to be releasing the projected blockbuster "Thistakesthebiscuit". It will star Tom Cruise as Moore because it is felt that if the movie doesn't take they'll just rename it Mission Impossible III.

Phelps has entered 8 events in an attempt to break Mark Spitz record at the Munich Games. He is off to a flier with breaking his own record and passing the field. Michael Moore is also off to a flier breaking wind and passing it repeatedly after eating a particularly vicious little Tzaziki.

Pundits are claiming that it will be harder for Phelps who needs to swim 3 heats for every 2 that Spitz had to do. Be that as it may Greek aquatic enthusiasts went wild when Sheila, their giant Humpback came into season, on the very day that a male Humpback albeit of funny red colouring and wearing glasses beached.

They raced into town for volunteers and with all hands to the wheel towed the huge Humpback out to see at the point of Sheila's last sighting. Ship Captain Costus Soldatos of the Tug Formidableus takes up the story.

"Humpabacka Whale is a very beautiful. Singa and doa tricks known as a ocean acrobat. Have two blowholes. Thassa how we recognisea the beached one. He give plenty of air froma rear blowhole. They weigh 30 to 50 tons so we were worried that this male was a bit big. The female she is normally bigger but maybe Sheila like cause he never stop singing through his blowhole."

The Formidableus dragged a furious Moore past cheering spectators and out to sea. Out to his awaiting Sheila. When he saw her he stopped fighting : "Crikey, she's a big Sheila. A bit feisty but certainly worth spending a bit of time with. These kids spend a lot of time dodging boats and I'm going to have to make sure I do the biz then see her safetly off".

The pundits are saying that Michael Phelps will have achieved one of, if not the, greatest moment in sport if he passes the record set by Spitz. In reality Moore will have achieved far more if he can cover the Sheila and send her safetly on her way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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