Manchester United and Engand dolt Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen celebrated the birth of their first child recently, and have announced that, though the baby boy has been named Kai (laughs), he will most likely be known around the house as "Erm".
The weird name is not to be confused with that which was used by the late, great Luton Town comedian Eric Morecambe to describe his comedy partner 'little Ern' or, rather, Ernie Wise.
Ernie Wise was only 3 feet 6 inches tall, and should not be confused with the ex-footballer Denis Wise who, incidentally, was also only 3 feet 6 inches tall.
Neither of these Wises should be confused with trolls, some of whom were in the region of 3 feet 6 inches tall, but who were a damned sight less ugly than Wayne Rooney.
Rooney clarified the issue of his son's weird name this morning, when he said: