Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

image for Colts Center Tells Manning To Go Screw Himself

The Indianapolis Colt's Center, Geoff Sunday, has told quarterback Peyton Manning to quit screwing around back there and call the play, already.

"He calls the play, we get lined up and the next thing I know he's shouting numbers and messages all over the place and there I'm in my stance with my ass in the air, wondering what he's talking about. I've hurt myself half a dozen times trying to keep from falling on my face before the hike, right there in front of 60,000 people," stated Sunday.

"It's hard enough understanding that it's the third 'Hup!' without him suddenly yelling at the runners and receivers about a play change and I'm upside down asking myself, 'Did he say "Cup" or Hup".

Sunday, whose nose has been broken 74 times by defensive linemen, claims that having to breath out of his mouth with both ears damaged by head slaps, that he may ask to go to be traded to a team that stays with the original play and doesn't change it four times before the snap.

Another thing the Center was pissed over was Manning pointing out that a linebacker has moved.

"Shit! Like I can't see a 255-pound man has moved. I'm looking, you big idiot, I'm looking! We got brains and eyeballs too, if only part of a nose!"

"I tell you, in the end it's me that's going to snap! He'll change the play one more time and I'll hike it too early and if he says one word back in the huddle, I'll facemask that sucker till he Hups off the field!"

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

2 5 15 10
73 readers are online right now!

Go to top