Cooperstown, New York- In a surprise move, President Barack Obama has been voted into the Cooperstown Baseball Hall of Fame by the Baseball Writers Association of America.
Hall of Fame, spokesperson Laddie "Slider" Inn stated that he realized that Obama had only thrown in one pitch during this year's opening game, it was truly the best by a president in many many years.
"Richard Nixon was so crooked his pitch went to the third baseman and Gerald Ford managed to kill a lady in the front row over the Red Sox dugout", stated Inn.
"But the key reason is that for many many years no black players were permitted to play in professional baseball until Jackie Robinson broke the race barrier. We owe this honor to the first black President to make up for that injustice."
In response, President Obama stated that he was deeply humbled to have been presented such an award and that he would accept it in honor of all the black players that never had the chance to play in the big leagues.
Then he spit on the ground and scratched his crotch and gave that famous noise-in-the-air smile.
Finally, Jersey Joe Higgens, 93, of the old Black League from 1936-1945, stated that there was no way that big sissy would have made his team.
"He throws like a woman. Beg pardon, ladies. He throws like a wuzz. Why, he'd faint the very first time I slid into a base he was covering with my hand-sharpened spikes at eye level!"