Liverpool - (Nappydural): "From the waist down he's the living image of his father!" a proud Colleen told reporters as young Kai Wayne made his debut appearance at Liverpool Women's Hospital.
"Just don't ask where that Accrington birthmark on his forehead's from," Mrs Rooney chuckled as the infant suckled on her swollen teat.
The 7lb7oz baby arrived 9 days late at the hospital's private Dildo Wing.
Proud father Wayne, 29, missed the actual moment young Kai popped out of his mother's C-section because he spent most of the labour manfully downing triple Creme de Menthes at the Ratarsed Parrot pub next door.
Man U lost two nil at Anfield last Sunday.