Written by Bureau
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Topics: Movies

Sunday, 1 November 2009

image for Roger Ebert Out Four Weeks With Thumb Injuries

A spokesman for movie critic Roger Ebert says the reviewer will be out three to four weeks due to both his thumbs being broken by the monetary backers of a movie he totally destroyed on August 11th.

"It's all part of the game", stated Ebert in a letter read by Luigi Rosetti, the spokesman. "I may have fumbled the ball on that one review and I had no protection at all."

At present, officials are studying the film from a near-by location to determine what action is to be taken.

"I admit I was down before the thumbs went", stated Ebert. "It'll be hard to simply watch from the sidelines but without the thumbs to give the proper signals, there's just no way I can play properly."

However, the frisky oft-injured Ebert gave his usual smile in a photo of him with both thumbs bandaged but with both middle fingers clearly in the air, a clear message sent to his attackers.

"I'll be back in a few weeks. The doctors say that the thumbs will be ready to move up and down after a couple more weeks of physical therapy and spending some time in the whirlpool."

Meanwhile, there were lots of bouquets with names of star players and managers all over his room according to Rosetti.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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