Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Baseball

Friday, 30 October 2009

image for Philadelphia Woman Offers Her 'Woo-Woo' For World Series Tickets
Susannah Fluckleberry shaving her legs. (Photo courtesy of Stewart Lambertelli, the Fluckleberry's next door neighbor)

NEW YORK CITY - A Philadelphia housewife has been arrested for offering to exchange her woo-woo (blank) for a pair of world series tickets.

Susannah Fluckleberry, 43, said that for the past week she had been trying to figure out what to get her husband, Throckerton Fluckleberry for his birthday.

She said that he has a closet full of sweaters. He has every Beatles CD (his favorite band), and he has every poster of Daisy Fuentes (his favorite pin-up girl).

So she said that knowing that he is a big Philadelphia Phillies fan she decided to go on line and get a pair of tickets to the opener with the New York Yankees.

But there were no tickets to be had. She finally found a man who lives in Queens, New York who had a pair. But he wanted $1,400 for the pair.

Susannah tried to get the man, Brandico Rezzanoochi, 39, to go down (on the ticket prices). Bra, as his mother calls him, would not budge from his asking price.

After going back and forth on the phone for about 20 minutes, Mrs. Fluckleberry, told Mr. Rezzanoochi that she would be willing to exchange her (blank) for the two tickets.

Rezzanoochi grinning from ear-to-ear asked, "Ju mean to a-tell me dat a-you will be a-willing to exchange your va-va-voom for da two tickets?"

Mrs. Fluckleberry replied that he got it. Bra, smiled and said that he would be getting it. Mrs. F., as her postman calls her, told Bra that they had a deal.

They arranged to exchange the tickets for the (blank) at The Motel 16, located at the corner of 983rd St. and Cletis Boyer Road.

Unbeknownst to Mrs. Fluckleberry, Brandico Rezzanoochi was an NYPD undercover police officer.

So when Mrs. Rezzanoochi arrived at the motel room dressed in her shocking pink miniskirt and matching halter she was arrested and charged with soliciting world series tickets in exchange for providing an individual of the male gender with a promise of experiencing her twidget (twatchel).

SIDENOTE:
A reporter who covers the NYPD stated that Mrs. Fluckleberry offered him her woo-woo in exchange for money to cover her bail.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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