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Thursday, 29 October 2009

image for St James' Park Naming Rights Resolved
The Tampax Stadium Yesterday.

Having taken Newcastle United FC off the market and offered naming rights to St James' Park, owner Mike Ashley has announced that a deal has been finalised.

As of December the first, St James' Park will no longer be referred to as St James' Park. It will be known from that date onwards as The Preparation H Pile Ointment Stadium

Whilst being financially beneficial to the club, some Geordie diehards vociferously opposed the change, claiming that the club being linked with a haemorrhoid treatment was not good for its image.

"It's ridiculous man!" one told us outside The Preparation H Pile Ointment Stadiu We'll be a bloody laughing stock. Why not gan the whole friggin hog and call it the Stadium of Shite? Or the Arsebollocks Ground? Or the three wanks and a fuck up the arse stadium? It's pathetic if you ask me."

Former club manager Kevin Keegan told us:

"I'd love it, love it! if they called it the KK Stadium, or the Messiah Stadium. LOVE IT!"

More loving it as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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