Written by Pomster
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Monday, 26 October 2009

image for Beckhams become bog brush

David has spent many years impersonating a footballer and Victoria has spent many years as a nagging wife, a celery stick and professional shop-o-holic.

However, due to David Beckham's dilapidating career, and Victoria Beckham's fame obscurity, the Beckham's are entering the toiletry cleaning business.

Ironically, this is the first time David and Victoria have ever gotten together since being married after that fateful one night stand (which caused David to have a girly voice after the sheer trauma of the whole ordeal).

However, in believing themselves they are big names, they've signed a lucrative deal with Softex Toilet and Sanitary Products Ltd and are set to launch a new product called the "Beckham Bog-Brush".

David has spent months preparing and has been growing what appear to be bristles. David will be the bog-brush's head.

Victoria has once again stopped eating and will become an ornate handle made of bone.

During the bog-brush's pre-launch prototyping process L.A. Galaxy have rekindled the pair's mutually flagging careers by ramming the Beckham Bog Brush down the Galaxy latrines during extensive cleaning trials.

Accordingly most of the Galaxy players, who ironically regard David Beckham as a completely useless lump of shit, have been saving themselves of a morning and coming into the club to excrete masses of shit to aid the trials.

They say that, after several hours of heavy duty shitting in the club's bog, the Beckham Bog-Brush was put to the test. The Galaxy squad looked on in awe as Beckham's bristle-head captured mounds of pooh. This was aided by the support of Victoria's boney spine-handle where the thorough test finally confirmed a use for the overrated pair in clearing up the Galaxy bog pipes in no time!

Indeed, experts suggest David has many years of experience in being in and around shit and appears well suited as being a bog brush.

Alex Ferg-a -talk-a-lotta-shit, Manager of ShitTasters-United, said: "Look, I am pleased though that he's grown those bristles. They may just disguise that brown nose of his. David has spent many years crawling up my arse just so I'll play him. As much as I enjoy playing with young boys, it was getting quite cramped for a while what with Giggles, Sholepsy Doo Doo and the other fella's nestled up my back passage. But, clearly he's well accustomed to seeing, smelling and tasting shit. David and Victoria will be wonderful bog brushes. They can come and clean my shitter anytime."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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