Written by Aspartame Boy
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Monday, 26 October 2009

image for Umpires to be replaced by robots

NEW YORK NY - Baseball fans are turning purple after reading a new scientific survey that shows that the recent playoffs were determined not by the skill of the players, but by the lack of skill of the umpires, according to my source, an ex commissioner of baseball who wishes to remain somewhat anonymous.

The umpires were wrong on more than fifty percent of the close pitches and more than half of the close plays in the infield, according to a scientific study conducted at Princeton using actual footage of the games for data.

The new robo-umpires will be fashioned after the terminator robot exemplified by the current Governor of California. Argue with the new umpire and you get a smoking cauterized hole where your heart used to be.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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