In a wild weekend in Washington, reports have leaked out that President Barack Hussein Obama is contemplating naming Ralph Nader to be the new NFL Pay Czar in order to get waffling white republicans to back his health care plan.
The report, leaked by Fox News, who despite being 'locked out' by the White House continues to skoop 'the main stream' press, said that Obama wants his health care plan to succeed, because he 'can't take one more day of that whining bitch Nancy Pelosi on MSNBC!"
Insiders say the NFL Pay Czar was a price Obama was willing to pay for throwing "the brothers' under the bus, 70% of NFL players being black. The source said the NBA would not be affected, as Obama "still wanted to go back to Chicago without worrying about being 'offed with a rail road tie in his own neighborhood!"
In an unprecedented vote of solidarity the NFL player's union voted to replace current NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell with Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who only last week was denied partial ownership in the St. Louis Rams in a smear campaign headed by Rev. Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, amongst others claiming 'racism!'
Said Jerome "Mr. Steel" Johnson, all pro linebacker for the Detroit MF'ers, "Hey, Dawg...we be down with Rushbo....them fake reverends been living off her sweaty backs for years, and our peoples got nothin to show for it. Rushbo be our man...we knows he be watchin' our back...just axe any de brothers...we know who be down wit us...and it don't be that indonesian, hawaiian half white Chi Town Boy!! Besides, we ain't goin bust our ass for no $200 k a year...yo all hear me now!"
Limbaugh, according to network officials was unavailable for comment as he was in conference with his team of 53 high profile lawyers perfecting his defamation lawsuit against the NFL, Sharpton,Jackson, and a host of 'co- conspirators'.