Written by Bunsen Burner
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for Benitez Sacked By Liverpool, Beach Ball To Take Coaching Position
Steven Gerrard Reacts To The News

Rafa Benitez has been sacked as manager of Liverpool FC following yet another defeat. The board took their decision immediately after the defeat by Lyon in the Champions League. Sammy Lee, Benitez's assistant is to take charge of first team affairs whilst the beach ball is expected to be appointed Director of Coaching.

Benitez said "Obviously I am disappointed at how things have gone, but I would like to say that it is not my fault. The players are entirely to blame. These players, who I signed, trained and selected are to blame for everything. i have had enough of your stupid country. Your referees are the worst in the world. Your women are fat and ugly. The food in this country is shit. Adios!"

Sammy Lee said that he was going to keep things low key to begin with. "Calm down, calm down! I think the last thing the lads need is me jumping up and down. Let's wait and see how they respond."

The beach ball has already started working on new, revolutionary tactics. Nothing has been officially announced but I can reveal that the tactics are based on the following: scoring goals and not conceding any goals. It will be interesting to see how the team reacts as these tactics are the complete opposite to what they have been trying to do recently.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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