Written by Bunsen Burner
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for Jamie Carragher Axed By Benitez
Carragher was more confident about his next opponents

Jamie Carragher has been dropped from the Liverpool first team squad. This follows his total failure to mark a big red beech ball out of the game on Saturday.

Benitez said "He's a fucking useless bastard. All he had to do was take up a position near the six yard box and stop the beach ball from having a shot. What happens? Beach ball scores, we lose 1-0. I'm dropping Carragher and am replacing him with a garden gnome."

Carragher has clearly struggled this season. He has been outclassed by a sack of spuds, a goldfish in a bag, a headless chicken and now a beech ball. However the defender still believes that he can play at the highest level. "That beech ball only had one shot at goal the whole match. I'm disappointed but I know that I've still got some years left in me."

Liverpool supporters are concerned that Paul Gascoigne, the beach ball look alike is planning a top flight comeback and has been seen in talks with Sir Alex Ferguson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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