Written by Bunsen Burner
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for Beach Ball Found Living In Ipswich
"Paint me red and it's one nil!"

The Stadium of Light Beach Ball has been traced to an address in Ipswich. Peter Lardybutt was unrepentant today when we called at his house. "Yes, I'm a great big fat fuck, but I don't care. For years I've been shut indoors, too big to get out the door. Then my brother-in-law got a job flying Chinook helicopters. Well, I just said take me to a game of football and I'd do the rest."

Indeed he did. He bounced on to the football pitch and even managed to score a goal before he disappeared again. "I was hungry so I went home".

Lardybutt is hoping to move to America and get a job carrying children away from their families, but this may prove a controversial move.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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