Written by Bunsen Burner
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Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Brian Ferry To Become Football Referee
".... and I need to score"

Roxy Music frontman Brian Ferry has revealed that he is studying to become a football referee. The recent fall in standards has led Ferry, a keen football fan, to seek to change things. "It's time we made the game more professional. I think that someone who is comfortable performing in front of large audiences will be a better referee than the current crop."

Ferry also promises to be the best dressed referee ever. Marks and Spencer have agreed to design his kit. This will be part of the new "Officials" line that the chain is about to introduce. Cricket umpire coats, tennis umpire blazers and snooker referee gloves are also included in the range.

Ferry is looking forward to sending errant players from the pitch with a flick of his hair and a flourish of a spangly red card.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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