Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 18 October 2009

image for Blackburn Rovers v Burnley Amid Massive Security Operation
There Will Be Fireworks - Guaranteed.

Blackburn Rovers will tomorrow entertain neighbours and bitter rivals Burnley at Ewood Park tomorrow under tighter security measures than anything that ever existed at Guantanamo Bay.

Burnley supporters, regardless of where they live, will be forced to take official coaches from the club's Turf Moor ground, or be turned away.

Which is bad news for one Burnley fan, Chris Tyler, who lives a mere four minute walk from Ewood Park. The stringent security measures mean that he will have to drive the 16 miles to Turf Moor from his Blackburn home, take a coach back to Blackburn to see the match, take the coach back to Burnley after the match, then pick up his car and drive back to Blackburn.

A 64 mile double round trip as opposed to two four minute walks. Which seems slightly absurd.

Lancashire Police were unsympathetic. Superintendent Chas Feckwell told us:

"If we have to inconvenience a few fans, then so be it. We don't regret it one bit. When these teams play each other, even rational fans turn into psychopathic maniacs. The potential for mayhem is unlimited. Which is why we will do everything in our power to keep them apart. Including accent checks at the turnstiles."

The fixture has a history of crowd trouble dating back decades, and one aspect of this is that if the fans can't get at each other, they generally take out their frustrations by smashing the place up and fighting with the police.

One example of this occurred when Burnley supporters flooded into the condemned Riverside Stand (since rebuilt) at Ewood Park and set about systematically demolishing it and hurling debris at the Blackburn support.

Whatever happens, it's certain that tomorrow at Ewood Park will be 'interesting.'

We shall of course bring you the score and the body count as we get it.

Blackburn won 3-2 by virtue of scoring more goals.

Bodies still being counted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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