Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 13 October 2009

image for Sir Alex tells Brit refs to get fit, no sex before games and lay off the "Chip Butties"!
Sir Alex is right, no podgy Ref in sight, he's having a ciggy and a cuppa somewhere!

Sir Alex Ferguson is facing a life long touchline ban becauser he publicly dared to call Premier league Refs a bunch of "Stodgies!"

"They're fat, overweight, too old, can't run, smoke to much, have sex before matches and then expect to keep up with my Laddies, Laddie!"

This public outburst could lead to Sir Alex being banned, paying a hefty fine and crawling on his knees to the FA (Football Association for our American, non-soccer, Gringo readers!) and begging for forgiveness!

Sir Alex has issued a direct apology to fatty, stodgy, very out of breath Sassenach Ref, Alan Wiley, and has promised never to say a "Dicky Bird" about any Ref's condition in the future!

But Sir Alex being a sly Scottish "Glasgy" decided to give the Albanian "Futbolo Internationalo" magazine the following interview to vent his anger:

"I canna say this in England but here, no prob, the Premier League Refs are a bunch of overweight, overpayed, unfit bastards, who canna keep the f*****G time, never give Man Utd penalties away from home and are all fucking Chelsea fans, Abramovich bribes well yunno Laddies!"

This exclusive interview was only published in Albanien so no brainless FA official could understand it anyway! Sir Alex can now stick to his opinions whilst grovelling to the FA, apologise mucho and thank the Albanians for showing the bastards who the real boss is, Laddie!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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