Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 26 September 2009

image for Hull City To Be Relegated Now To Save Time And Any Further Messing About
City's progress this quarter

There was high drama on Humberside tonight when the FA Premier League announced that Hull City, who were soundly beaten to a pulp by Liverpool earlier, are to be relegated from the division NOW to save time and any further messing about.

Liverpool trounced the Tigers 6-1, and Phil Brown's men have now had 19 goals put past them this from seven games this season.

City have one flukey victory to their names - 1-0 against Bolton, who are another load of shit - and a draw against Wolves. They lie second-bottom by virtue of the fact that the team below them, Portsmouth, have lost all seven of their matches so far.

The FA said in a statement released tonight, that "It is felt that Hull City are wasting people's time and money - not least their own fans' - and should be dispatched downwards to the Championship as soon as possible. The remainder of their fixtures, as well as those matches already played, will be null and void."

City fans were quick to react, and most were understanding of the decision. One, who wished to remain nameless, said:

"Mecks sense. We might as well start saving for trips to Donny an' Scunny again, rarver than wasting cash on expensive embarrassments like Liverpool and Man U."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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