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Saturday, 26 September 2009

image for NFL Says Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to Go Topless for National Breast Appreciation Day
Watch for the bouncing pom poms on Monday Night Football!

Monday Night Football on September 28th will be the concluding event in the day long celebration of National Breast Appreciation Day. To conclude the huge festivities, the NFL has announced that the Dallas Cowboy and Carolina Panther Cheerleaders will both be topless for the game.

When asked how they felt about this, football fans gave the following comments:

  • "The Carolina Panthers have cheerleaders? Who knew?"
  • "This is better than the Lingerie Bowl!"
  • "The game's on cable, right? They ain't blacking it out or showing it on pay per view, are they?"
  • "Who gives a damn about the game, just keep the cameras on the Cowgirls!"
  • "For once, Tony Romo won't be the biggest boob on the field."


NFL executives believe that the game will surpass the NFL record for largest crowd ever. Television executives also forecast that the game may be the most Tivo'ed event of all times.

Before the game, referees intend to warn the players to watch out for "illegal use of hands" and "encroachment" penalties.

While the game will begin with the traditional National Anthem, it is scheduled to conclude with Robin Williams singing his version of the Bob Hope classic, "Thanks for the Mammeries."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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