Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Thursday, 17 September 2009

image for Hermaphrodite, Caster Semenya, Endorses Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids
No more embarrassing naked baby pictures to prove you're a boy!

Johannesburg, South Africa - If successful, a generation of men will never know the humiliation of having their mothers show family, friends and their girlfriends their naked baby pictures, because no longer will millions of mothers have to take pictures of their newborn males babies to prove to relatives and friends that they had a boy.

Not with the new Caster Semenya's Gender Determination Home Testing kit for kids.

"Many are surprised when they find out that scientifically speaking there is no one single factor that stands out when looking at a newborn child that they can point to and say with confidence, 'It's a boy!" said Joan Horneburg, a gender reassignment researcher from Sweden. "There are several other not so noticeable markers that go into determining a person's gender."

In fact, according to Horneburg, no one should consider himself or herself either a man or a woman, unless they have a certificate signed by a medical professional stating so.

"That's when I got the idea for the gender determination home testing kit for kids," said Horneburg. "But I want to stress that my gender testing kit is not just to determine if you have a boy, but a girl...or other, too."

Based on the foolproof advanced pregnancy testing technology of using the plus (+) and minus (-) symbols to determine positive or negative results, the Caster Semenya Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids goes one step further by adding a third symbol, the question mark (?), to determine if your child is a hermaphrodite.

"Of course, more testing will be needed to verify the initial home testing kit's results," said Horneburg. "So you shouldn't read too much into it."

The home testing kit comes with a website and 24 hour crisis hotline for parents to access to discus the test results, should they find them disturbing.

"They're so friendly,"' said Mabel Grover, who used the home gender testing kit on her daughter. "When Janie's testosterone levels tested off the charts, triggering that little question mark, I freaked out thinking she was a hermaphrodite. But the call center explained to me that it probably just meant she's a bull dyke or some other lesbian thingy. What a relief!"

The Caster Semenya Gender Determination Home Testing Kit for Kids is not yet available in the United States.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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