Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 12 September 2009

image for Wayne Rooney Denies Being An Ermaphrodite
It's often those you least suspect

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney has reacted angrily to suggestions he may have gender problems, and that his genetic make-up includes some female characteristics.

He told BBC Radio 5 Live:

"Erm ... No way, arm norra ermaphrodite."

The denial comes close on the heels of the revelation that South African 18-year-old 800m world champion, Caster Semenya, is 'a bit of both'. Rooney's England colleague David Beckham has also jumped on the bandwagon, and said that he, too, is half-a-girl.

Medical experts though, say Rooney IS INDEED a type-1 ermaphrodite. The player, it is claimed, uses the word 'erm' in every single sentence he utters. Sometimes, his whole sentence consist only of the word 'erm'.

Rooney is due to play in the United team to face Tottenham at White Hart Lane later today. He said:

"Erm."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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