The world of professional sport was rocked to its very core by the revelation that players and athletes were using "joke shop" style tactics to gain an unfair advantage over their competitors.
Dougie Doo, proprietor of Scarborough's Joke Emporium in the North Bay area of the town, claimed that the Harlequins Winger, Tom Williams, bought a blood capsule from his shop in the days leading up to the fake injury scandal that shook the Rugby world.
Mr Doo (58) made yet more startling claims about other high profile sporting figures, including a Groucho Marx style glasses and nose combo purchased by the England Manager Fabio Capello and a pair of fake tits which he sold to an unnamed South African sprinter.
"He said that they cut down on wind resistance," explained Mr Doo, "Who am I to judge? I only sell the stuff, it's up to them if they use it to cheat."
Suspicions were aroused by a number of other high value purchases from the emporium, "He bought some Devil Bangers and a fake dog poo too, so I guessed he was planning some kind of local or international mischief."