Written by Blazing Saddle
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Friday, 28 August 2009

image for No Worries Mate? Rising Inflection No Longer Interrogative?
Canberra (Reuters image): The frame for the defeated Australian Ashes squad team photograph is ready

Australian actresses and pseudo-Aussie dickingtons need no longer be ashamed of their defining speech mannerism!

"Brace yourself Sheila?" - The best-known Australian courtship ritual is now recognised as a statement, not a question.

For all thinking adults are entirely sick of the ?? question ?? at the end of each and every phrase uttered by those whose Southern Continental ancestry defines their accent.

We have absorbed the "tinny?", the "tube of Fosters?", the "meat pie with onion gravy?" lunchtime special and the cricketing triumphalism.

No longer!

The rising inflection does not work when applied at the end of phrases such as "England won the Ashes"! (Well, actually it does, but not for the purposes of this Spoof).

Or try saying "We were stuffed by England at the Oval" with a question mark at the end - doesn't work, does it?

A phrase being driven into the "brains" of the Australian Test cricket team on their long flight back to the Antipodes is "We didn't believe they were batters"!

Please note the lack of the interrogative punctuation mark which would , if present, indicate a rather optimistic mindset of the ball & chainers.

They know it is not justified and even their tiny singers and actresses are no longer permitted to use it?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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