Written by Maz Arrocha
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Monday, 10 August 2009

image for Fergie To Do Ref Course
Fergie will soon be dishing these out to Ballack etc.

Sir Alex Ferguson, Manager of Manchester United, is to undertake an intensive course to become a Premiership qualified referee.

After the Community Shield at Wembley last Sunday, and the incidents that occured, with Chelsea's Michael Ballack clattering Man Utd.'s Patrice Evra, and no foul being given, Fergie is to take the law into his own hands.

Andy Townsend said this was 'to be the biggest upset in the premiership history', and it 'would cause more Cantona style actions'. Former premiership referee, Graham Poll, has advised Fergie on the red and yellow cards, and that a player 'must have three yellow cards before being sent off'.

Let's see if any prawn sandwiches will be flying about this season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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