Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 7 August 2009

image for Phil Brown Happy To Have Signed SOMEONE!
You busy, mate? Can y' come an' play for City?

Hull City manager Phil Brown today unveiled his two new 'star' signings at a Press conference at the KC Stadium, and confessed he was just pleased that he had managed to sign somebody, anybody, regardless of their skill or potential - or lack of it!

The Tigers completed the signing of Stoke City's Nigerian international midfielder Seyi Olofinjana for £3m, and United States international Jozy Altidore on a season-long loan from Villarreal.

Other City targets that 'got away' were Michael Owen, Bobby Zamora, Fraizer Campbell, Marc-Antoine Fortune, Jerome Thomas, Daryl Murphy, Ross McCormack, Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez, leading the beleaguered Hull boss to tell his lovely wife, Karen, last week:

"Am gutted, love. No bastard wants to come. Al be glad to sign any bastard!"

Today, the chirpy South Shields idiot got his wish as the two 'any bastards' joined the Tigers brave fight against almost-certain relegation to the Championship.

I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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