Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 4 August 2009

image for Michael Phelps To Wear Bikini
Very fetching

Michael Phelps, the US swimmer who won an amazing 8 gold medals at the Beijing Olympic Games, today astonished his critics as he revealed that, to avoid allegations of cheating in future competitions, he will wear a bikini when racing.

Many people have criticised swimmers using new lycra bouyancy-aiding swimwear, saying it gives an unfair advantage to its wearers, propelling them towards the finishing line a miraculous 0.00000000001 seconds faster than those wearing ordinary nylon 'bloomers'.

The Baltimore Bullet is keen to show he is still the world's greatest swimmer, with or without advanced swimwear, and has chosen to wear a lovely two-piece number from the Speedo summer collection in order to confound his critics.

The suit in question was revealed by Phelps in New York, where he was out looking for a pair of pink stilettos and a nice handbag.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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